Dade County Judge, Francis Seeker III, filed an affidavit today on behalf of the Atlantic Spotted Dolphin (Stenella frontalis), demanding the Miami Dolphins change their logo and nick-name.

The court order is the result of years of hard work by PETA member and Dolphin-speak translator, Randall Salt. Salt started the grass-roots movement to remove the dolphins’ name and likeness from the Miami football franchise in the wake of Dan Marino’s retirement. After nearly two decades of protests and signature collecting, He is thrilled at what he calls, “A victory for aquatic mammals everywhere”.

“1-15 was the last straw,” Salt said at a press conference held at a local Marina, “A lot of fuss is made about the physical abuse of the live animal mascots at Baylor and Georgia [Universities], but the psychological damage suffered by these beautiful creatures is just as damaging, if not worse.”

Spritzy the Dolphin spoke to us through her translator, Mr. Salt, “The Dolphins’ logo and the team’s inability to contend in the AFC, makes us Dolphins look like a bunch of clownish fish that exist solely for the entertainment of humans. It is an unfair representation of our proud Dolphin heritage. Too make matters worse, [owner, Wayne] Huizenga hired Bill Parcells, the Big Tuna, to oversee day-to-day operations of the team. Not since “Ace Ventura: Pet Detective”, have we been so outraged. Plus, Parcells’ small, speedy linebacker schemes didn’t even get Dallas past the first round [of the NFC playoffs].”

When asked why PETA chose to go after Miami as opposed to any number of other perpetrators of Psychological Cruelty to Animals in the professional sports landscape, Salt cited the Dolphin’s intelligence as the overriding factor.

“Birds and horses, while beautiful, are relatively stupid creatures-unable to comprehend anything outside their most basic, primal instincts. When I watch football with my Tiger, Stanley, he has no idea the Bengals’ roster is full of criminals or that Carson Palmer will never win a Championship. But Spritzy here can solve simple math problems and read at a 5^th grade level. She has feelings, and her feelings have been hurt.”

In an earlier press release, Wayne Huizenga said he would challenge the Judge’s ruling, and has already filed an appeal with the local appellate court.

NOTES:

Miami will play their pre-season games in Tallahasee, home of the FSU Seminoles, while luxury boxes are added to Pro-Player Stadium.

Throughout last season I posted a some of my work on two sites. The last half dozen or so off-season posts are available for your reading enjoyment here.

All the stuff is still relevant, except for the Super Bowl preview which was magnificently incorrect. I went for the longest blog ever record in my ‘why I care about sports piece.’

I’ll have stuff on both sites in the future.

I’m sure all five of you have been losing sleep over this predicament.

Checkout the Penguin Wire section on this site to read my buddy Rich’s blogs about the Penguins. He has forgotten more about Pens hockey than I know. It’s not my fault, I grew up in Jersey.

Arbitrary Grading of the ’07 Steelers

The Mike Tomlin era is upon us.  A deceptively promising start faded into an injury riddled, deceleration into the post-season, which culminated in an ulcer-inducing, two point playoff loss at home. Still, ten wins is a good season.

I suppose a Super Bowl victory would have earned Tomlin an A++++++, like Ralph’s fantasy grade in “A Christmas Story”.  

In my eyes, this season was above average, a solid B.

I cut and pasted this from the Post Gazette website a while back.

            ‘The Steelers have other players who will become unrestricted free agents when the new NFL calendar begins in March. They are guard Alan Faneca, linebacker Clark Haggans, tackle Max Starks, defensive end Travis Kirschke and fullback Dan Kreider. Restricted free agents include tackle Trai Essex, guard Chris Kemoeatu, receiver Nate Washington and long-snapper Greg Warren.

They also must decide which players who have one year left on their contracts they want to try to extend. Among those are tackle Marvel Smith, linebacker James Farrior, receiver Cedrick Wilson, quarterback Charlie Batch, cornerback Bryant McFadden and tight end Jerame Tuman.’

Of all these players, only Faneca and McFadden jump out at me. Haggans is already gone, Starks was underwhelming this season, Essex, and Washington have been inconsistent, but I expect them both to be back for next year’s camp. I think Washington did enough this season to keep the Steelers stuck on his potential and athleticism, I am not fooled, I hope the Steelers can get a draft pick for him.  I haven’t seen enough of Kemoeatu to get a good feel for his progression, and I doubt anyone will throw big money at him. 

I wonder if Marvel Smith will stay healthy.

Faneca is all but gone. He may be nearing the twilight of his career, but he’s an all-pro and still the Steelers best lineman.  Unfortunately, the market for guards has been driven through the roof by the lucrative contracts awarded to second tier guards this past off season. Faneca deserves top-ten guard money, and he’ll get top-five money on the open market. Godspeed, Alan.

I like McFadden, Deshea Townsend is getting old. I bet the Steelers take a defensive back in the mid to late rounds of this year’s draft.

Farrior quietly had a very productive season, but I don’t see the Steelers giving him an extension, like Faneca, he will be over paid on the open market when he becomes a free agent. 

I think the loss of Tuman early in the season was big, he is the best blocking tight end on a team with a shaky offensive line, and the glaring lack of depth and aptitude of the line became much more appearent after Tuman went down.

The Glass is Half-Full

Ben Roethlisberger is a franchise quarterback; his interception filled 2006 season now looks like the exception rather than the rule. Statistically, he had the best season of any quarterback south of Tom Brady, please sign him to a ten year deal, make him a Steeler for life.

Willie Parker was leading the league in rushing despite the Steelers well documented O-line problems, think about what he could do if the Steelers could run block on the goal line.

Santonio Holmes, and Heath Miller had career years.

James Harrison and LaMaar Woodley will make us all forget about Joey Porter and Clark Haggans.

In the past the Steelers have signed free agents like, Jeff Hartings, Jerome Bettis, and James Farrior, so there’s hope they could go out and get someone this off-seaosn.

The glass is Half-Empty

The offensive line is in shambles. Given the Steelers draft position it will be difficult to find a guy who can defiantly come in and start as a rookie

The Washington-Wilson-Reid crap fest at WR. The Steelers will draft a lineman in the first round, maybe even the first two rounds, that leaves free agency as the best avenue to find a wide out who can make an immediate impact. It is time to start moving Hines Ward into the slot full time. Ward had a great year, but he’s defiantly lost a step, and will be much more effective as the Steelers 3^rd WR.

The lack of depth on an aging defensive line. The Steelers couldn’t stop the run when Aaron Smith went down. Casey Hampton didn’t seem to be at full strength for much of the season.

There’s broken glass in my coffee and I’m bleeding internally

The Steelers schedule is a monster next year, and without a significant upgrade at WR and on the offensive line, the Steelers will be hard pressed to get to the playoffs.

Bruce Arians played scared with the season on the line, just as he did when he was the Browns offensive coordinator. For all the talk of opening things up, and finding balance in a traditionally run heavy offense, he called a QB sweep on 3^rd and 6 when the Steelers had been hitting short and intermediate routes seemingly at will against the Jags. At least make an aggressive mistake. Arians did have to deal with injuries on offense, a Pop Warner O-line and Nate Washington, but he has never coordinated an offense that has finished in the top-ten. I hope that’s not a sign of things to come.

The secondary lacks a shut down corner. Ike Taylor isn’t an elite corner, and he’s the best the Steelers have right now. I do not see the Steelers picking up a guy better than Taylor in the off-season.

Polamalu can’t stay healthy.

Najeh Davenport is an average 3^rd down back, nothing more. I’m not of the mind set that the Steelers need a big Bettis type back to bludgeon teams to death in order to restore pride to the Black and Gold’s punch-you-in-the-mouth style of antiquated football. The Steelers can’t force Parker to carry the ball 350 times next season. Another running back, regardless of his size (look at what NE has done with Maroney and Faulk) will help keep parker healthy. This will help keep the defense rested.

How do you replace an entire offensive line?

Harrison vs. Porter

This past off-season, the Steelers released Joey Porter, and chose to let their pass rushing hopes rest on the wings of un-drafted, free agent James Harrison. My guess is the Dolphins could have gone 1-15 without Porter. Meanwhile, James Harrison was selected to his first Pro-Bowl. Here are there final regular season stats.

James Harrison (10-6) Total tackles- 98, solo tackles- 76, sacks- 9, forced fumbles- 7, interceptions- 1.

Joey Porter (1-15) Total tackles- 66, solo tackles- 57, sacks- 5.5, forced fumbles- 1, interceptions- 2.

Who Says the “Steeler Way” doesn’t work?

The Battle of the Fourth Round Draft Picks

With their fourth round draft pick, the Steelers selected two-time Ray Guy Award Winner, All-Universe punter Danny Sepulveda from Baylor.  Meanwhile, the New England Patriots traded their fourth round draft pick to Oakland for locker room cancer, Mr. “I Play when I want to play”, WR, Randy Moss.

Here are their final regular season stats.

Sepulveda: 68 punts, 42.4 avg. (38.4 net), long 59 yards, 28 punts inside the 20 Passing stats: 1 for 1, 32 yards, 118.8 passer rating

Randy Moss: 98 rec., 1493 yards, 15.2 avg. 23 tds.

 Sepulveda dominated Moss in the passer rating category and it took Moss a whole 16 games to break the td record Jerry Rice set in the12 game, strike shortened season of ‘87. I think the Steelers could have gotten more out of their rookie punter, I look for Pittsburgh to un-harness their young offensive dynamo next season now that he has acclimated himself to the speed and intensity of the NFL.

Woodley vs. Haggans appears to be a lock to replace Harrison vs. Porter next season. Hopefully, the Steelers don’t draft a long snapper in the fourth round in the upcoming draft.

The NFL’s final four has been decided, this weekend the Patriots will play San Diego, and the Packers will play the Giants. The conference champions will take two weeks off for the NFL to relentlessly hype the inevitable New England victory in Commercial Fest XLII in Arizona.  (The Packers are the only team who can go point for point with the Patriots, and I want Green Bay to win, badly)

But what if there weren’t any playoff games? What if the daunted Billy Volek/Phillip Rivers tandem didn’t get a chance to out-duel Peyton “it was my offensive line and kicker’s fault we lost” Manning? What if after the regular season the NFL took nearly two months off before playing the national championship game?  What if the NFL were governed by the BCS? I suppose it would do away with all those meaningless regular season games, making every week a “must win”, unless of course a team is ranked too low at the start of the season, (LSU a while back) and plays an entire slate of meaningless regular season games with no shot at a national title.

            The NFL would never do this because they don’t need to give their players time to “study for exams.” In that three month break between the end of the regular season and the “National Title Game”

Here is a composite ranking of the NFL teams I compiled using ESPN and SI.com Power Rankings along with my own arbitrary, somewhat biased ranking of the NFL’s 32 teams. Post-season results are not consciously taken into account. Since over half of NCAA Div. 1 teams make it to the post season, I will award bowl eligibility to the top 18 teams.  

1. New England

2. Indianapolis

3. Dallas

4. Green Bay

5. Jacksonville

6. San Diego

7. Pittsburgh

8. Seattle

9. New York Giants

10. Tampa Bay

11. Washington

12. Cleveland

13. Tennessee

14. Minnesota

15. Arizona

16. Buffalo

17. Houston

18. New Orleans

19. Philadelphia

20. Detroit

21. Chicago

22. Denver

23. Oakland

24. Kansas City

25. St. Louis

26. Carolina

27. San Francisco

28. New York Jets

29. Cincinnati

30. Atlanta

31. Baltimore

32. Miami

The NFL season ended on December 31^st. Here is my 9 game, NFL on the BCS Bowl lineup.

January 13^th
The Halliburton Energy Bowl-Texas Stadium

Houston vs. New Orleans

The winning city gets a grant from Halliburton to improve public schools and fund after school sports programs for children.  Just kidding.

January 20^th.
The American Idol, Ice Bowl, presented by Fox-Soldier Field, Chicago

Buffalo vs. Cleveland

Ironically, NBC won the bidding war for this game. The losing team is forced to relocate to Canada

January 21^st
The Coors light Bowl, by Coors light-Coors Field, Colorado

Dubbed, “The battle of Denny Green’s former teams” this game draws a large audience by forcing the teams to play around the pitchers’ mound at Coors field. Larry Fitzgerald scores ten td’s, but the Cardinals lose 80-77, on a late Kurt Warner fumble.  Matt Leinart drinks himself into a blackout by halftime.

January 24^th
The Starbucks West Coast Offense™ Bowl-WSU stadium, Walla-Walla, Washington

Tampa Bay vs. Seattle

The game is broadcast on the NFL network, and is seen by only 200 viewers outside the Seattle and Tampa Bay markets.

Shaun Alexander runs for 10 yards on 20 carries after saying “this is the best I’ve felt all season” before the game. Tampa Bay wins when Alexander gives Derrick Brooks the ball to avoid being tackled, and the linebacker runs it in for a touchdown.

Feb. 1^st
The UPS ground, East-West Bowl,-Orange Bowl, Miami, Florida

Giants vs. Chargers

“The Battle of quarterbacks drafted ahead of Ben Roethlisberger” is viewed as meaningless by everyone.  I mean neither of these teams could advance to the conference Championships, right?  By this time, everyone just wants to see the Patriots and Cowboys play their respective games, as everyone knows they are the best teams in their conferences and even if their was a playoff system, neither San Diego nor New York would advance past the 2^nd round.

SD 24, NYG 23

Feb 2^nd
The Wal-Mart Bowl, by Doritos-Cardinal Stadium, Tempe, AZ

Washington vs. Tennessee

Players on the losing team are forced out of the NFLPA.

The teams combine for 700 rushing yards, Washington wins in overtime when a blocked field goal is return for a touchdown. 

Feb 16^th
The Rose Bowl- Pasadena, CA

Pittsburgh vs. Jacksonville

Tomlin decides to kick extra points and the Steelers win in overtime, 34-31.

 Feb 23^rd
Magnetic Ribbon Bowl, courtesy of Wrangler Jeans,-Sugar Bowl Baton Rouge, LA

Packers vs. Cowboys

Packer’s win 34-27

Tony Romo chokes this one away with a late fumble. Despite his inability to win big games, he is crooned over by the national media, who love to say how much better Romo is than Super Bowl Champion, Ben Roethlisberger.  John Madden has a brain aneurysm when an arrant Tony Romo pass is caught by Favre on the sidelines.

 March 22^nd
The NFL network, NFL Championship Game, brought to you by MasterCard, Gatorade, and the Church of Jesus Christ of Later-day Saints-RCA Dome, Indianapolis.

Colts vs. Patriots

The NFL network is simulcast over every station in North America and Europe. In order to keep his team fresh, Bill Belichick illegally brings 16 players from the Atlanta Falcons in to scrimmage against the Patriots during the two month lay-over. As a result, the Patriots are in better “game shape” than the Colts.  With two months to game plan, Belichick conjures up both an 11 man front, and a zero down lineman scheme.. The Colts have no chance when a short circuit blows out the piped-in crowd noise in the RCA Dome, NE wins 100-28.

Announcer Bryant Gumble is strangled by Chris Collinsworth in the 2^nd half after Gumble mispronounces “Mike Vrabel” while saying, “I don’t believe they’re putting this guy in at tight end on the goal line, wow, that Belichick has gone mad.”  Collinsworth is committed and the rest of the broadcast is aired in silence. No one complains.

After the loss, in which he threw 5 interceptions, Manning blames everyone but himself.  He then goes home and falls asleep on a pile of $1000 bills which bare his likeness.  When the Pats go undefeated, the ’72 Dolphins commit mass suicide in South Beach by toasting champagne laced with arsenic. Ironcally, the win is overturned and ruled a forfeit in favor of Indy when news of Belichick’s Falcon practice squad antics comes to light after a player whom Belichick forced into playing through six concussions accidentally mentioned in an interview that tackling Warrick Dunn in practice was harder than taking down Joe Addai.  The scandal is called PracticeSquadGate and dominates headlines throughout the off-season. Pats fans claim the Falcons players were so bad, they didn’t give them any real help, and that all the other teams do it any way, and there’s no real advantage, and at least it’s not steroids, and it’s only in the papers because it’s the Patriots and you hate the Pats and that’s why it’s in the news etc…

Wow the spread was 2.5 points. Everyone who bet on the Steelers won if that makes anyone feel better. The Steelers lost this game because Ben Roethlisberger only played well in the second half, and they have been playing with a crap o-line all year. Ben’s bad first half was unexpected. They made a great come back, but man. If only they hadn’t gotten into that position in the first place. The defense played a spirited game without Aaron Smith. I think they played well enough to win.

I don’t believe the Steelers lost the way they did. I thought for sure if they were going to lose it would have been for entirely different reasons, although special teams’ gaffes are becoming a Steelers post-season tradition.

14 Jaguars points came off a 1 yard drive set up by a kickoff return and an interception return for a touchdown. The interception on the screen late in the first half was as crucial as the td return. Even if the Steelers get 3 there, it’s a different game, but then again Gerrard might not have thrown that pass Farrior picked off, if the Jaguars were only up 11 at that point.

My God all these guys on TV are talking about Bettis. Bettis would get killed behind this o-line.

John Fedko is the most obnoxious TV personality in PA. It seems like he want to enter into a civil union with Hines Ward.

Ward did play a great game.

The 4^th and 2 play where Gerrard ran for 30 some yards was tough, but still if Ben doesn’t throw 3 first half interceptions it doesn’t get to that point. This was especially painful because I really thought the Steelers could have won despite the first half turnovers. Arians should have just called a pass play on the second-to-last drive. I know that’s easy to say in retrospect, but still Ben was playing well in the second half.

The problem this whole year was the offensive line.

The Steelers task during this off season will be to gut the o-line and add a third receiver. Then look at the spots on the defense that are starting to age.

I hope the Colts don’t win the Super Bowl. I am tired of seeing Peyton Manning’s face everywhere. I’d rather have the Patriots go undefeated than have the Colts win back to back titles. Go Packers. No one talks about how Manning blamed his O-line when the Colts lost to the Steelers in ‘05. Take the blame like a man.

The Steelers will need to pay Ben Roethlisberger a lot of well deserved money this off-season. Then we will find out if the Rooneys will go for some free agents the way they went after Hartings, and Bettis in years past.

Now it’s time for me to focus my extraneous sports watching energy entirely on the Penguins, who are on a tear. At least there is still a winning team in Pittsburgh to root for.

Blogs in progress: Sports are not that important, and If the NFL used the BCS: Bowl Match-ups.

I never in a million years would have guessed Ben would throw three picks, still down 14 at half time is not an impossible deficit to overcome. Here’s how I saw the first half unfold from my Bloomfield apartment. I just pasted the second half onto the end of this blog, so it’s in order.

This has not been proofread.

Wild Card Playoffs Steelers vs. Jaguars

The Steelers won the toss and drove down the field for a td on their opening drive. Davenport scored from a yard out to put the Steelers up 7-0 The pass to run ratio was about 2-1. The drive was aided by a horse collar, personal foul penalty on a play that appeared to be a sack, the call was correct I’ not sure if I like the rule though.

Roethlisberger is so tough he injures the opposition when they tackle him illegally.

After throwing incomplete on his first attempt, Roethlisberger completed his next five, including a big 3^rd down play to Hines Ward on a fake end-around.

My goodness, Maurice Jones Drew just ran the kickoff back to the Steelers 2. Fred Taylor scored on the next play, so much for the 7-0 lead. I guess with all the special teams guys now thrust into starting roles, they have a lot more to think about besides staying in their lanes.

I don’t know why Holmes doesn’t return kicks, he’s more explosive than Davenport, and an injury to either player would be equally devastating.

2^nd Steelers possession

Garry Russell has made an appearance, catching a nice 6 yard pass on 2^nd and 4.

Najeh looks good. Just as I write that he’s stopped for a 2 yard loss. Kendall Simmons almost blocked his guy. Ben can’t quite out-run the defense. Steelers punt, thankfully no return.

Will the defense tackle?

Taylor avoided a loss, got 2.

Hope that’s not off-sides. It was, but least Haggans made the tackle.

Taylor has 3 yards on after his first two carries.

MJD somehow squeaked through the line on third and 2 for a first.

NBC just flashed a total yards graphic, Steelers 84 JAX 7. That stat is worthless at this point.

Son of a gun, that should have been a sack. Garrard runs for another first down.

Another near sack, Haggans didn’t cover Mercedes Lewis very well off the play action. Mercedes runs like an old Volvo. The one my buddy Dave used to drive, slowly around Central Jersey.

3^rd and 8 Keisel blocks the pass. Defense holds.

Yes Miller off the bootleg.

That was close, Holmes played DB on that one.

Russell got two on 2^nd and 10.

Man, the line was blown up there.

Steelers punt, modest return.

The defense played great through one quarter, will they keep it up.

YES a sack. 13 yard loss.

They tackled Tayor on the draw play, Farrior blew it up.

3^rd and 25

If they get this I will cry.

15 yard gain, a good tackle by Foote.

Jags punt. Wilson stands still for five minutes before he’s tripped up. Illegal motion, Jags will re-punt. Oh, the dreaded re-punt. C’mon Wilson, get north and south. Fair catch, no fumble.

You know it’s bad when not-fumbling on a punt is a victory.

Steelers’ coach montage, nice.

Davenport gets nothing on a sweep left.

2^nd and 10.

Homes dropped it.

Offense has slowed down after the opening drive. Big conversion here.

HINES WARD. The ball bounced off Miller and right to Ward. Man, they must have worked on that for a long time in practice. I bet John Madden just had a flash back.

NBC was psyched to get a chance to show the immaculate reception.

DAMN IT!, pick-6, flag is down, please defensive holding, defensive holding, please, please, please.

Probably a block in the back after the pick, c’mon on Jacksonville.

DAMN. What how is that enforced on the kick off?

I don’t believe the Steelers are losing and it’s not the defense’s fault. DAMN this is terrible. At least Pgh gets the ball right back, man.

I bet they put up a lame “time of possession” graphic soon, which shows the Steelers dominating T.O.P.

I hope my food comes during a commercial. It’s been 45 minutes and I’m hungry.

That was Mathis’ first pick this season. Davenport takes a knee for the touchback instead of running to the 20 and getting killed. Looks like Ben had a guy on the other side of the field on the pick.

Najeh loses five, I think he wanted to lateral it back to Ben on that play, I kind of wish he did. That was Mahan’s guy.

What is going on? Two picks on consecutive possessions by Mathis. This is ridiculous. That was terribly under-thrown.

Got to get to halftime down by one score at worst. What happened to the offense that drove down the field on the opening drive. Why challenge this play? This is the playoffs, Tomlin! Wow he got it right. Great, plus my food came during the challenge break. I missed one play which resulted in no gain. Now it’s third down after Taylor is stopped after a 3 yard gain. C’mon D get off the field.

My god, that was terrible. Td Jags. No one covered MJD out of the backfield. Farrior was beaten badly.

OK 21-7 Jaguars, only 7 points allowed by the defense, but Ben looked like he did in 2006. The Steelers have to get it to one score by half time. Man, this is bad.

There’s still time.

That was the worst three-and-out I’ve ever seen. No gain on a sweep then two sacks.

The steelers have 1 sack for -13 yards, and the Jags have 4 for -24. Pittsburgh is dominating the yards per sack stat.

That’s the first time I’ve seen Taylor really rip off a big gain.

That was the second time. Taylor got 18 yards on his last two carries, now has 9 for 29.

Pgh needs a turnover, bad.

Wow, I don’t believe that wasn’t pass interference on Ike. 2^nd and 10 from the Steelers 30.

Yes, Taylor loses 4. OK 3^rd and 14, got to get off the field.

Solid coverage, fourth down. 28+17=45 yard field goal. Very missable.

Wide right, steelers get the ball at the 35, needing a td to cut the deficit to a manageable 7 points at half time. 2:08 remaining. C’mon, Ben. 3 yard out to Miller, 2 minute warning.

Nate Washington for ten, 1^st down clock stopped.

Ball at the 50. Ben runs for 6. 2^nd and 4, Holmes caught it, clearly. Pgh timeout, hope the booth doesn’t get any ideas about overturning that catch. Oh, man. How do you overturn that?! That was a catch. Clearly a conspiracy. Pgh keeps their timeout, though.

Need a td here. That was a terrible call, Holmes had possession all the way. Yes Najeh! Big conversion, Davenport is much better after the catch than he is out of the backfield. Great patience by Ben. Najeh, limps off, great. Davis in the backfield. Davis makes the catch for 6yards.

Kill me. that’s Ben’s third interception this half. Jags lineman Landry made a great play on a screen pass. That’s brutal. Oh, my god. Jags run out the clock. Jacksonville will get the ball to start the second half. Good lord.

The crowd is booing.

I’m calling a surprise onsides kick.

Ok, no surprise onsides kick.

Jags ball at the 30. Can the Steelers come back from a 14 point half time deficit?

I say they can, if Ben stops throwing picks and the defense holds up.

Yes James Farrior interception!!! Huge turnover, c’mon Ben throw tds and not ints.

Go deep on the first play.

Najeh’s not so fast, 2^nd and 11, but faster than Mercedes Lewis.

Miller nice shoe string catch for a first down.

NBC showed Big Bens Super Bowl XL numbers.

Quick slant to Holmes and the offense is moving. Holmes beat Mathis.

Now in the red zone. Davenport gains three. 2^nd and 7

WR screen loses about 3, third and long. Davenport gains 5 on third and 9. Reed on for a 28 yarder, nails it. 21-10. Need the defense to keep it up, the offense has to get in the end zone, and not settle for any more field goals.

The Steelers have run 3 (I think) WR screens. I look for the fake wr screen deep-post for a td on the next possession, if the line can block long enough.

Another pop-up kick, Jones fumbled it out of bounds.

How about another int.?

A stop here is huge.

3^rd and 2. come on watch the draw.

Crap gerrard picks up 12 on a busted screen. Keisel was running away from Garrard as the qb scampered for the first down. Troy almost gets a sack, 2^nd and 7 after another scramble. Sweet apparent sack, but a flag, please be holding. What 15 yard facemask on Ike? My god. That would have been 3^rd and long. They went right at Ike for 20 yards. Troy was late on the play. good throw. Now their throwing it. MJD uncontested off right tackle, td 28-10 Jacksonville.

There’s still time. The Steelers have to score a td on this possession, and basically every possession form here on in.

I still am in shock that Roethilisberger is getting outplayed by Garrard.

The obvious train of thought on how the Steelers would win tonight was to stack up on the run, and make Garrard beat them, while throwing a lot on offense. That hasn’t worked. I mean the strategy is being employed but not executed at all.

A kickoff return to the 1, and an int for a td. The defense is actually playing very well considering the injuries. Roethlisberger is losing this game. I don’t know how much of it is the lack of a running game, and how much is the play calling but 3 picks in one half of football is not what I’ve seen out of Ben this year.

Steelers ball at the Jax 31. After an incompletion and a 3 yard gain by Daivs, Miller made a big 3^rd down catch. No huddle, Miller again for 9 yards. Madden is really adamant that Ben throw to Hines Ward.

JAX rushed 3, Ward with a catch, flag down.

Madden is really happy Ward got that ball. Penalty on the Jags is declined. Davis loses one on first down. Mahan has not blocked tonight.

False start, I bet Mahan forgot the snap count.

Ben is sacked on 2^nd down, wow, there were guys open. On third and a million Ward makes a catch to end the third quarter, fourth and 12. Gotta go for it.

They are, TOUCHDOWN Santonio Holmes!! I could have done without the taunting though. Good for you Santonio, now your team is down by 11.

OK, this is doable.

That’s the Ben Roethlisberger I expected to see tonight. A stop and a score, then a stop and another score. One of the aforementioned scores must be a td, preferably both of them. There’s only seven seconds elapsed in the fourth quarter, and the Steelers are down by 11. Don’t let MJD return it to the one. Jags ball at the 39. I hate it when the Steelers are afraid to kick it deep. I still don’t see why Holmes isn’t returning kicks for Pgh tonight. Every time, Najeh just runs into the pile for a ten yard return. When was the last time Steelers opponents were kicking it short? I don’t even remember it in the Randle El days. I would imagine it happened then, though.

1^st and 10, almost a sack, then almost a pick, incomplete, and a missed holding call. Harrison is getting in the backfield with some consistency tonight. Garrard just threw it away, I wonder if Ben was watching. That could have been grounding. 3^rd and 10, YES!!! James Harrison, big play. The Jaguars are forced to punt. Almost blocked. Wilson fair catch. 14:14 left Steelers down eleven with the ball on their own 31 yard line. Man this is still a game. Keep it up Ben, another big drive here, remember your team is wearing the black jerseys.

12 yard pass to Ward, Madden is psyched.

Madden loves Hines Ward, who took a WR screen for 7 yards after nearly being stopped for no gain. Bring on the fake screen, deep post.

I almost soiled myself, Ben was nearly picked off again. 3rd and 3.

Ward, 4 yards for the 1^st.

Steelers are driving. Bomb. Washington can’t come down with it. the ball went right through his hands. Catch the Ball!.

Essex was just telestrated, he’s doing pretty well.

Miller does a Mark Bavaro impersonation for a first down. Man this is exciting. Even Tomlin is fired up.

11:52 to go.

Draw play on first and 10 4 yard gain, that was a good call. They told Mahan it was a pass so when he let his guy go bye it worked perfect for the draw. Cedrick Wilson for seven over the middle. DON”T GET A PERSONAL FOUL. OK. Steelers inside the 20. No picks. Najeh dropped it. poop.

2dn and 10 from the 15.

Miller touchdown!!!! I can hear the stadium from my house!!! YES, 28-23 going for two.

Fade to Ward conversion is good, wiped off by a holding penalty on Mahan. Mahan should be sent to Siberia, or Baltimore. In all fairness that call was questionable. Ben runs for 11 of the 13 necessary yards, I think he should have passed. The problem with that call is now is JAX gets a field goal, the Steelers only tie with a td.

WOW, Davis crushed that guy.

Holding on Jacksonville wipes out a 7 yard gain by Fred Taylor. C’mon D.

Five yard gain 2^nd and 15. DEFENSE!!! Polamalu drew that penalty.

YEAH IKE TAYLOR YEAH< GO IKE.

Oh, man. First and 10 from the 16. 8 yards to Davis.

Najeh looks to be just short, 3^rd and an eyelash: GOTTA QB SNEAK!!!

Najeh helped Ben get that one. I should call all the plays. Come one Ben.

Pass to Ward down to the 1.

Second and goal. My god. Two near interceptions from the one due to tipped passes. Davis dropped that one.

Ok, 4^th and goal.

That’s got to be pass interference on JAX. Please GOD. YES that’s huge, RUN THE BALL!!! That was a face mask by Ward that wasn’t called. Should have been off-setting penalties. Who cares, that’s a touchdown. Steelers are up 29-28. Should have kicked after the last touchdown. Steelers could be up 3. I hope that doesn’t come back to haunt the Steelers.

Nice special teams tackle by Garry Russell.

False start.

Minimal gain to Taylor 1^st and 15. 2^nd and 13.

That was a big drop by Jones. 3^rd and long. Get off the field, defense, come on, defense.

first down to Northcutt. Thought there could have been a hold on the Woodley. 3 yard gain by MJD. Damn. 2^nd and 7. throw a pick throw a pick, please throw a pick. That was nearly a sack twice: Harrison bull-rushed the tackle and almost got to Garrard, Keisel nearly tripped him up, but Garrard threw it away.

3^rd and 7. Madden and Michaels ponder the possibility of going for it on 4^th down. I hope that’s a decision that has to be made. Watch the draw. Woodley sack!!! A gigantic play. Harrison came up with it but the play was blown dead.

Jags punt Wilson gains about 15 and doesn’t fumble. 3:43 left Steelers up 29-28. Najeh 5 yards on first down. 2^nd and five. Clock is ticking. Najeh, no room off left tackle. 3^rd and 6. 2:56 left in the game.

Gotta go with a play action pass here, get Ben to the edge on a bootleg, a run-pass option type of play. I really wish they had kicked extra points. I was against it at the time. That phantom holding call on Mahan was ridiculous. I suppose the missed FG by Scoobee makes up for it.

Crap, QB sweep out of the shot gun that went nowhere. OK Sepulveda kick it 75 yards.

Defense has to hold now. Oh boy. This is not a time I would call a fake punt.

Jags have the ball at midfield. 2:38 left.

Gerrard goes deep, almost a catch, challenge by del rio if that’s a catch then Holmes’ should have been a catch. No catch, JAX out of time outs.

3^rd and 2, at about the 40 at the 2 minute warning. Dan the New England fan called me to talk sh1t on Tomlin. I kind of agree, if the Steelers win it will be in spite of throwing on 3 consecutive plays inside the 2 yard line, and going for 2 points with a lot of time left in the game. Troy is fast, Gerrard throws incomplete.

OK this is the game 4^th and 2 from the 43.

THAT DID NOT JUST HAPPEN.

Gerrard ran for 30 yards. How is that not a hold on Harrison? ARRGGHH. Carter did not seem at all interested in tackling Gerrard, he could have had him at the 30.

Farrior creamed MJD, wow, I hope Scoobe misses this FG attempt. 2^nd and 12 1:30 left. Pgh has one timeout left. Steelers burn their last T.O. 3^rd and 7. Steelers could really use a fumble. Man, this has been an emotionally draining game. It’s looking bleak. Scoobee needs to miss a 25 yard chip shot. 40 seconds left. Please miss. Please. Shank it. shank it!! poop. 37 seconds.

Why did they go for two twice? damn it. that was ridiculous. Granted, it shouldn’t have gotten to that point, but Michales is now talking about how the Steelers should have kicked. Shut up Michaels, I was way ahead of you. There were like 10 minutes left when they went for two.

OK 30 secnods left no time outs ball on the 28.

Sack, fumble, game over.

Shit. I hate Jack Del RIO.

That was a great game, I really thought the Steelers were gonna pull it out man this is painful.

Pease was my roommate for three years when I lived in Oakland near Pitt’s campus, and is one of the more knowledgeable sports fans I know. His guest-blog Pats game preview was omniscient.

He sent this to me as an attachment with the request I tighten it up for him, as it was mostly a semi-sober rant. I think he sold himself short, I changed very little of what he sent in an attempt to capture the sense of inebriation that has come to define the Steelers late season swoon. Plus there’s some very apt metaphors in his writing.

Here’s Pease’s Steelers Ravens blog.

The tone was set for the game as Willie Reid proceeded to fumble the opening kickoff and spot the Ravens the ball inside the Steeler 35.  Just didn’t show up to play.  All phases of the game just seemed indifferent to the outcome, with the division locked up, and only playoff seeding at stake. 

Ben did not play as he has been banged up due to the poor offensive line play all season, and today’s game was no different.  The offense looked pretty bad with Charlie Batch at the helm, the only touchdown was set up by a pass interference as Nate Washington was open deep, the ball was overthrown, and Corey Ivey impeded Washington as he came back for the ball. 

The problems on defense continued, with bad penalties and missed tackles.  The missed tackles and the pedestrian offensive line play are the two things that concern me the most with the Steelers’ play this season.  It is just so hard to watch a black and gold team tackle this poorly, and an offensive line look like a sieve. Those two elements are the reason why the Steelers will not be able to make the step up to the elite two teams in the AFC.  Santonio Holmes just went 59 yards for a TD.   He has had a great season, and I look forward to seeing what he can do in the future.

  It scares me to think about what the line will look like when Faneca leaves.  Marvel Smith is good when he can stand on the field, Mahan is inconsistent at best, terrible at worst, Simmons has never lived up to first round pick status (albeit the last first rounder NOT to be considered a value pick), and Willie Colon and Max Starks are basically turnstiles on the right side.  Not a great state to lose one of the top 5 linemen in the NFL. 

San Diego is going to beat Oakland so the Steelers get their rematch with Jacksonville.  The game ended on a Charlie Batch interception with a chance to win the game.  This was over all, an uninspired game, albeit with very little to play for, since San Diego was playing a bad Oakland team.  Hopefully some of the O-line will be able to get healthy over the next 3 days, as Max Starks has been lost for the year.  No depth is left at the tackles position, which with an injury could lead to a situation like 2003, when the line was decimated, and Faneca had to play left tackle.  We all remember how well that season worked out.  Hopefully the defense figures how to tackle Saturday night, and if the Steelers can stop the run, and force Gerrard to win the game, I like our chances.

My fantasy post-season, and the harsh reality.

I didn’t get a chance to watch the Ravens game on Sunday, so I asked my buddy Pease to write a recap which I will post tonight or tomorrow. Judging from highlights, and the radio broadcast, which I listened to while driving home from my parent’s house in NJ, tackling still seems to be an issue. Let’s hope the Steelers tackling improves greatly in the playoffs.

Thanks to Steelers’ losses in Denver and New York, all San Diego had to do to secure a better conference record and thus clinch the 3^rd seed in the AFC was beat the JaMarcus Russel-lead Oakland Raiders. The Charger’s victory against Oakland means the Steelers will play the Jaguars in the first round. While the Steelers were knocked around like tackling dummies in the team’s prior meeting (out-physicalled is not a word) the game was won on a Fred Taylor touchdown in the last three minuets of the game, hardly a blowout. All the Steelers had to do to win that game was tackle. I’ll give the Steelers the benefit of the doubt, and assume the defense will tackle in the playoffs, and the Steelers will win, physically.

Is there any way to lose a game besides being beaten physically? I mean has a losing head coach ever said in the post game press conference, “we were psychologically throttled today?” I suppose the whole thought precedes action argument could be tossed around, but to win football games you have to tackle complete passes, run fast etc. all of which are actions performed, well, physically. You can hit hard and lose. A running back can score a td by juking a defensive back as opposed to running him over either way the defender was beaten physically. I’d like to thank Post-Gazette columnist Gene Collier for beating  the adjective physical to death (figuratively) in his annual trite trophy column.,

If I could write the script for this post season, it would go something like this…

The Steelers beat the Jags at home. The headlines in the Florida papers on Monday read, “Steelers ‘out-Jaguar’, Jaguars” {read my “For Argument’s Sake” blog a few entries back it has some sweet pictures and is full of delightfully wry humor, and details how the Steelers could have won the first Jaguars game, had they chosen to tackle.}

After the Steelers defeat Jacksonville, the Titans are blown out by the Chargers, sending the Steelers to New England. The snowstorm in New England that week is described as apocalyptic by the Boston Globe. The Steelers, wearing their white uniforms, are camouflaged and manage to sneak 12 defenders onto the field and intercept Tom Brady three times, returning two for scores, while Ben Roethlisberger throws 6 td passes to Santonio Holmes, and the Steelers run-up the score in the final moments when they give Chris Kemoatu the ball on a full-back dive, Pittsburgh wins 56-17. The headlines in Boston the next day read, “Steelers ‘out-Patriot’ the Patriots”. The Chargers, meanwhile have gone into Indianapolis and blown-out the Colts, after the game, Peyton Manning blames his O-line and his receivers. The Steelers then play the Chargers in the AFC Championship. Pittsburgh avenges their 1994 AFC Championship loss, defeating the Chargers 31-21, behind the super human play of Najeh Davenport. Davenport rushes for two tds, throws for another, and catches a fourth. The headlines the next day read, “Najeh Davenport, ‘out-Ladainian Tomlinsons’ Ladanian Tomlinson.”

Meanwhile in the NFC, everything has gone as planned with Green Bay facing Dallas in the NFC Championship Game. Green Bay leads Dallas by 7 late in the third quarter, but Brett Favre tears his groin hoisting Donald Driver onto his shoulders in celebration, the injury not only ends Favre’s career, it ends Green Bay’s season, as backup Aaron Smith is unable to rally the troops, and Dallas wins on a late field goal.

So the Steelers face the Cowboys in Super Bowl XLII. At this point, Willie Parker’s fibula has been replaced with cyborg parts, and is ready to go in the Super Bowl. In the weeks leading up to the big game, Hines Ward takes time to remind everyone how he was the Super Bowl XL MVP. He also says, “I told you the Jets only beat us because of that trick play, we’re the Steelers!” He is scratched from the game however, when he slips into a state of delirium due to sleep deprivation caused by 96 consecutive hours of watching his own highlights, including the trick play which all but assured his Super Bowl XL, MVP award. Without Hines to get in the way, Willie Parker earns the Super Bowl MVP, running for 310 yards on 20 carries on his bionic leg, while Roethlisberger throws 5, 1-yard td passes to Heath Miller. The Steelers win 42-37. After the game, cattle escape from a nearby Arizona Ranch, and several Steelers’ players round them up and save a group of small school children from what appeared to be a certain stampeding. The headlines of course read, “Steelers win, ‘out-Cowboy’ the Cowboys”.

Wouldn’t that be something?

Pragmatically, the Steelers Jaguars game is a toss-up, and the winner only loses to the Patriots by 10. I’ll say the Steelers win and then give the Pats a game for three quarters this time, before bowing out gracelessly. The Pats run the table, and beat the Chargers in the AFC Championship, because Phillip Rivers can’t win. The Colts are likely to meet the Patriots in the AFC Championship game, but I can’t pick the 1 and 2 seeds, that’s too easy.

In the NFC I hope the Redskins win, but it’s going to be either the Packers or the Cowboys. I just can’t see Todd Collins hoisting the Lombardi Trophy in February. So I’ll root for the Packers because I strongly dislike the Cowboys. Brett “Captain America” Favre leading the Packers to another Super Bowl is a much better story than Tony Romo and T.O. leading the Cowboys to a rematch with the Patriots. I like Favre. I’m lame like that.

I hate picking the Pats, so I won’t. I’ll say Favre leads the Packers to victory and finally retires.

For next week, I’m actually going to apply a BCS formula somewhat similar to the NCAA version to all 32 teams and see what happens. It should be exciting.

Dan Sepulveda’s average yards per completion this season is 34 yards more than that of Randy Moss. Who wasted their 4^th round pick now?

I love the way James Harrison plays, but is he really a more valuable Steeler than Roethlisberger, or Willie Parker?